Dust, Smoke & Bravo
Never thought I'd be writing Real Housewife & political appointment in the same sentence. Alas, 2025.
Your nightly news update. Apologies for ze delay, having one of those days I call “junk days,” where everything feels like a herculean effort and nothing important really gets done. Alas, there’s always tomorrow…
Alright, let’s get into it.
Does JD Vance Have the Opposite of the Midas Touch?
the fall that started it all
Where everything turns to….dust? Let’s investigate:
Philadelphia Eagles visit the White House, JD Vance picks up National Championship trophy and…it breaks.
JD visits Vatican City, meets with Vatican staff.
Pope Francis initially refuses meeting, but later agrees.
Pope Francis and Vance meet for a few minutes.
Pope Francis dies several hours later.
The next day, April 21, JD flies to India to meet with PM Modi.
On April 22, there is an attack in Kashmir, where Indian civilians are killed.
Now, there is a full-out battle raging between India and Pakistan— the latest of which escalated today.
JD’s half-brother runs for mayor of Cincinnati. After staying mum on the race, Vance decides to endorse his half-brother with a few hours left in the polls. Vance’s brother finishes with 12.9%, compared to the incumbent’s 83%. Yet, somehow still enough to bring him into the primaries this fall. Sure, this isn’t as linked to JD Vance, but still kinda funny.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me four times, well…
Just a warning of caution for those who live in places he’s visiting, or have plans to meet him. Maybe wait on that a lil bit.
I’ve gotta get his birth time. This is just too…coincidental…check back with you on that soon.
No new Pope, at least not yet
putting attending one of these on my vision board tbh
The Cardinals gathered today to cast their secret ballots and conform to their strict diets. But, after a long day’s gathering, the black smoke billowed above the Sistine Chapel. Meaning, no new Pope has been chosen.
Reportedly, a handful of frontrunners have emerged, though we don’t know enough to really narrow it down just yet.
What we do know though is that one Cardinal removed himself because he was previously convicted for embezzlement, one had a health scare, and one is being accused of not doing enough to investigate abuse allegations in the church.
Cardinals, they’re just like politicians.
Also, apparently many of the Cardinals, several of whom are new to the Conclave process, are actually watching the movie Conclave for insights into the process.
A real example of life imitating art? Or art imitating life?
Cardinals will report back tomorrow, and every day after, until a new Pope is chosen.
Elon may be gone, but his Musk lingers
on his way to Mars
According to a Washington Post report, countries are being encouraged to purchase Starlink to “demonstrate goodwill and intent to welcome U.S. businesses.” A couple of countries have since negotiated and approved contracts with Starlink since Donald Trump’s April 2 Liberation Day. Proponents of the move say that it makes sense for the government to push for U.S. companies to get international access. Critics disagree.
Smartt Takes will keep her opinions to herself.
Federal Reserve keeps interest rates steady
Chairman Powell, who could also moonlight as a Gringotts banker
For the third straight meeting, the Fed left interest rates unchanged, citing “great uncertainty” regarding the implications of Trump’s tariffs. And, as a friend of mine noted, if the Fed is worried about market uncertainty then we should really be worried about market uncertainty.
Although the Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell did say that they’re not expecting a June rate cut either, markets responded favorably to today’s news.
Guess Smartt Takes isn’t the only Bravo fan
Some real 2025 sh*t
After firing the Biden appointees, including former Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff, Donald Trump announced a new slate of board members to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Council, a nonpartisan institution.
Eagle-eyed Bravo fans noted one name in particular on the roster— Siggy Flicker. Flicker, a former Real Housewife of New Jersey, was apparently controversial during her time on the show. She also has a son who was arrested on January 6 and later pardoned by DJT.
Hopefully he doesn’t get any new policy ideas watching Bravo. Some lines aren’t meant to be blurred.
Trump is planning to send migrants to Libya
Reports emerged that Trump is planning to deport Southeast Asian immigrants to Libya. Trump denied the reports, claiming he did not know anything about it. Though we’ll probably hear it from him in a couple of days. That said, a federal judge responded to an emergency order filed by immigration lawyers stating that Trump cannot move immigrants to any country without first providing them due process.
You should know that the Supreme Court is set to take up a case on May 15 regarding the involvement of federal judges in these immigration policy decisions (in this case, birthright citizenship), which will have huge implications either way.
What you should also know is that Libya is listed on the State Department travel advisory as high-risk aka “do not travel” due to “crime, terrorism, unexploded landmines, civil unrest, kidnapping, and armed conflict.”
Although, the El Salvador travel advisory was massively upgraded after President Bukele started taking undocumented migrants and imprisoning them at CECOT.
Hilariously, according to the State Department/FOX News, El Salvador is actually a safer place to travel than… France
Trump administration asks court to dismiss mifepristone lawsuit
The Trump administration pursued a Biden-era federal case to dismiss a lawsuit that conservative states had filed which charged that mifepristone, the medically induced abortion pill, was unsafe and that the administration shouldn’t be able to authorize it. The lawsuit from the Trump admin seeks to dismiss the case on the basis that states can’t challenge FDA policy.
Democrats were surprised, and excited by the news, while anti-abortion advocates remained mum on the topic. There seems to be, however, a caveat.
Smartt Takes isn’t a lawyer, butttt, based on my understanding, some experts note the significance that the admin is trying to get the lawsuit dismissed on the basis that states can’t challenge the administration. Notably, not on the merits of this case (i.e., the accusations made against the safety of mifepristone)
Lawyers suspect, and some fear, that, if the judge sides with the administration, then the administration will issue a regulation to fully ban mifepristone. And then use the basis of the case to prevent blue states from challenging the ban.
This is an ongoing issue, so we‘ll just have to see. But just something to flag.
And to the Democrats, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
News of tomorrow: We discuss the expiring de minimis exemption Friday, the Persian Gulf drama, and whatever other sh*t storms arise.
In the meantime, that’s it from me. Enjoy the rest of your evening and see you tomorrow! :)
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Chau chau for now!